Summer Sex

Even if you are not an outdoorsy kind of person, if you are dating over the course of a summer, you are likely to find yourself and your date communing with good old mother nature at some point. No matter what your definition of 'communing with nature is' (and that can range from tenting on a backpacking trail and using a Johnson-log to relieve yourself all the way to a 2 story cottage overlooking a lake, complete with Jacuzzi spa, hot-tub on the deck, and a boathouse, you will likely find yourself sharing many romantic interludes with your loved one. All that fresh air and all those sunsets are natural sexual invigorators – getting her in the intimate frame of mind, and reminding him about the natural side of being alive. The nights will also add their share of enjoyment as you sneak down to the water to skinny-dip under the full moon and the wash of stars in the milky-way. Invariably, at some point, the entire concept of outdoors sex will just happen. Sex can be a great thing of course, but there are some cautions that you should take before setting out on such sexual adventures.

Problem: Sex in a Dirty Environment

You have to remember that when you’re camping, you’re going to get dirty. All those nature hikes and long walks will cover you in dirt. When you start a fire, you’re going to get covered in ash and grime (at least if you do it like I do). Barbecues will inherently get some sauces and juices on you. And then there are the layers of bug spray and sun block you have on your skin. All together, you’re pretty damn gross by the time you head back to your tent for some “private” times. No woman wants to give oral sex to a gross, dirty penis. And no guy enjoys fondling a boob covered in slimy grime. The thrill will fade quickly.

Solution: Wash As Much As Possible

This is almost a catch 22 issue. In many national parks, or even state level parks, there are usually shower facilities. Of course this does not help you if you are on an overnight trip on a backpacking trail and miles away from a shower. Go during off-peak hours when you’ll have some privacy – waiting until all the kids in the park are in bed is the perfect time to go. If you are around showers, then you can make use of them. Perhaps using them after midnight or very early in the morning would bypass shower queues. Of course if you on a backpack trail, you will need to either bath in a stream, or else mutually sponge bath each other.

Problem:  Threes a Crowd

Tents are just not good at blocking sound. When you have sex at night, especially if one of you is a screamer, be prepared for anything from amusing looks or accusing looks from the campsites around you. In the worst case you may get a visit from the park authorities (and hopefully not in the middle of the act).

 Solution: The Long, Long, Long, Nature Hike

This one works like a charm, as long as you remember some basic safety tips. First, don’t go where there are bears. They can kill the mood and you’re partner. Second, do not go at night for a sex hike. It is too easy to get lost, or stumble and hurt yourself. Better to go in daylight and pick a seldom-used trail. Third, bring a blanket. That way, if you accidentally lay down for the hot times on a fire-ant hill, they’ll have a difficult time getting revenge on you while you’re in the middle of you’re sex. You should also let your camping buddies know where you are going in case you do not come back.  If you do not turn up on time because you just got too caught up in sex, then they can send the Rangers looking for you.

So this summer, enjoy copious, carefree, camping coitus carefully!

Casual Dating