My Truck Has A Hole In It

One of my friends spilled my messenger address to this guy, and surprisingly, I found myself chatting with him for a couple of months. We finally decided to meet for lunch one day as a way to see if anything more would develop. He lived quite some distance from me, but agreed to meet me on my turf. He showed up in an old truck (and I mean old) it looked like it had once belonged to “Jed Clampett”!

When I opened the door for him, I was in for more disappointment. He was rather dusty and had grease on his hands, and apologized saying that the truck had broken down on the way over. He insisted that I drive, and when I got in and saw a gaping hole in the passenger floor boards, I understood why.

We went to a small Chinese buffet for lunch. It was nice and the food was excellent. I was starting to become impressed, but that did not last too long.  After telling me how nice I looked, always nice to hear, he proceeded to tell me that he only had two toes on one foot (like I really gave a shit) and how he had lost them as a child playing with his father's rifle. He then went on to tell me that he didn't really have a job and that he lied about having one so I would go out with him. Then I found out he was going to be evicted from his friend's garage because he could not pay his rent. Then this loser started to blubber that he had nothing. No job, no prospects and he knew that he was not good looking. He was so annoying it was pathetic. Rather than beat him about the head and shoulders with a baseball bat like I desperately wanted to, I just bit my tongue and consoled him. I said that he just had to be patient and the right one would come along. It just would not be me. He did not have enough money to pay for my lunch so we had to go dutch; at which point we went to my apartment.

He told me he had a gift for me in the truck and said he hoped that yellow was my favourite color. I told him it was and he seemed pleased as he raced away. I wondered what the heck he could have for me that was yellow, and I soon found out. I was totally stunned when he returned with his yellow gift. A bunch of bananas for crying out loud. I was completely speechless. He then proceeded to tell me he had to spend the night because he had had a little too much to drink and didn’t want to get caught driving. Holy cow! I tried to push him out the door. He was very reluctant to leave so I did the only thing I could do. I threw bananas at him until he ran out the door as I slammed it! He pounded on the door for me to let him in but I would not budge. I told him to take his bananas and go or I would call the police; so he left.

It was the most expensive date I have ever been on. I have since moved and no longer allow my friends to fix me up.

I am going to try an online dating site. They guarantee anonymity. Hopefully the guys their can come up with something other than just their bananas to keep me happy.

Online Dating Sites