Friday, January 20, 2012
Better Sex Anywhere On a Budget
I have always found that the best part of having a new sex partner is exploring their kinky side. The new sales support person may like dress up sex. You know, nurse naughty, french maid, Marion the librarian, etc. That shy new cute guy in the corner office may love sex on any convenient piece of furniture in the room. You just cannot tell from looking at people what their kink might be.
That’s why it’s always so fun going to a sex shop with your new partner and buying some sex toys for your private times. Maybe have a few drinks at a pub near the sex shop first, that way you’re both a little drunk, and your normal inhibitions will be dropped. You won’t feel so shy about proposing some nipple clamps and blindfolds, and your partner will feel more at ease with putting a giant fist-sized dildo in the shopping cart. In vino veritas.
With the constantly rising cost of living and the bad economy, purchases at a sex shop can get expensive. On top of this, it is absolutely impossible to return anything used (for obvious reasons).
So to help stretch your budget and still allow for your continued pleasure, I have prepared a list of low cost alternatives to the most widely used devices. Have fun, but first, please check with your physician before trying these out.
Sex In The Office (Or Anywhere For That Matter)
For those not getting enough action there is a simple solution. Set your phone to vibrate and put it down the front of your shorts or panties. Now call it from another phone. This is phone sex taken to an entirely new level! Turn off your voice mail to maximize your pleasure! If you employ another cell phone, you can call yourself during boring meetings, or other venues. Suddenly, pocket dialing is no longer a problem to be dealt with, but a surprise to be welcomed!
Vigorous Veggie Vamping
Instead of spending up to a hundred dollars on a dildo at the sex shop, go to your local supermarket and choose a vegetable that you think you’ll enjoy. Bring it home, wash it really well, and slide a condom on it. Add an appropriate amount of lube, and see if it has the size you like. The best options are:
1) Cucumber – (all time favorite for regular sized vagina's) make sure you de-nub it first
2) Carrot – ideal for smaller ladies with tight pussies
3) Zucchini – if you enjoy activities like fisting, you would likely have to turn to the stalwart zucchini to give you pleasure.
4) Baking Potato – be careful you do not lose it up there – the zucchini is likely more practical
5) Sweet potato – these can have some interesting twists for your pleasure – select carefully for maximum entertainment.
6) Celery – no matter which end you use, this one will likely be disappointing. Of course now a full bunch might just substitute well if you cannot find an appropriately sized zucchini!
7) Watermelon – What are you thinking of? Totally out of the question!
So if you want, you can use the veggie of choice as a way to size a dildo purchase at a sex store. Either that, or else you can just keep on the veggie sex regime. The best deal about veggie sex is that you can size the amount of your pleasure stick without resorting to a lot of expense. A few bucks can buy you three different size veggie prototypes to try, so if you ever go to the sex shop for a more permanent type toy, you know exactly the size to purchase.
Now you may get some interesting ideas as you browse by the deli department. Anything in the deli is just not recommended, no matter how natural it may look or feel.
Unique Ways To Stimulate an Orgasm in a Woman
It is a published fact that many women can only achieve an orgasm by having their clitoris stimulated during sex. That is why some devices worn by men (commonly called cock rings) have vibrators built into them. The give the guy a buzz, but the real benefit is to the woman who gets a clitoral buzz with every thrust. However, vibrators are not the only things that vibrate. Have you ever had sex on your washing machine? If not, you are in for a treat. Put the machine on spin cycle, and go to it. For an extra kick, do something to unbalance the machine (like throwing in a floor mat all by itself). You will never look at laundry chores in the same negative light again!.
For other fun, Have her hold her phone next to her clit and give her a bunch of hot, dirty crank calls, and set to “vibrate”. This really pumps up the sexual satisfaction, and with most phone plans is dirt cheap to implement. Put a condom over the phone to keep it dry!
For those of you in California, when the next earthquake hits, get horizontal in a hurry and take advantage of the mega vibrations. You may miss the main one, but the aftershocks should not leave you unprepared. And what a shock the aftershock would have for your partner. Sex on a train is possible in the washroom. Most local commuter trains are on rented tracks that are also used by freight trains. This adds a lot of vibration to any train ride. The washroom may be a little cramped, but the excitement of doing something almost in public might add even more zing. Roller coasters are a thought, but the complexity of pulling it off pretty much makes it a non-starter. Airplanes are at their best in rough weather, but the spoil sports in the cockpits always turn on the seat belt signs. Of course, a blanket or two can give you enough privacy for a quickie. Then of course, sex in the bed of a pickup truck while going over a washboard road is just about the best. Of course you need at least one other person to drive. If you forego the bed of the truck, you can always get each other off in the front seat. Of course when going for it in the truck bed, some sort of padding is a necessity. Use and air mattress or at least a couple of yoga pads. Now go have some fun out there!
If you want some other advice on sex and sexuality, check out these links:
Sex Advice for Men
Sex Advice for Women