Saturday, August 11, 2012

Dating Date from Hell



 Death Follows For a First Time Meet In Person Date

Sonia Varaschin was killed because she just wanted to meet someone special online.

This worst case scenario emphasizes the inherent risks of meeting people online. In this case, the victim's computer was researched for leads, but the real tragedy is the victim's choice of sites.

When Sonya chose a site like plentyoffish.com she actually maximized her risks, and I must qualify this.
Although this particular tragedy was centered on plentyoffish, they are not the only risky site on the internet. In fact there are many other free dating sites like OKCupid.com, and many, many more who are financed primarily by advertising revenue.  These are not the only sites, but are two of the largest sites in this camp. Many of these sites are not even cognizant of the increased risk that they expose their customers to.

The real concern here is that there is no traceability to individual people in a free dating model which inherently increases risk for all members. Here is why.

There are a lot of freaks and perverts out there. Some are just lacking social skills, but others are sociopaths. It is very possible that the apparently nice guy that you are chatting to on the Internet is actually possessive and abusive in real life. The most dangerous of course are homicidal stalkers. They are the ones most likely to kill someone.

Free dating sites are not the only sites where you can expose yourself to danger.
This range of sites also includes facebook.com. So the next time you accept a friend request from someone that you are not sure you know, think again. About the only thing that protects you from stalkers on facebook is that the friend of the friend you are accepting actually knows one of your friends. But if you and your friends are the types that just click on every friend request in some game to get the most friends on their list, then you are setting up people that you cherish in your life to a lot of hurt.

Social networking sites that require some form of payment before allowing communication are inherently safer. Because it is easy for police to follow the money on such sites, sexual predators stay clear of them.  On the other hand, it only takes them a small amount of time to set up a string of bogus email account on yahoo ,then set up a fake email account on gmail using the yahoo account as reference, then erase the yahoo account.  Now just tie the gmail account to a fictitious email on AOL and it makes it tough to track you.  Smart stalkers use a trail for free emails spanning several countries and corporate entities, thus becoming more invisible.  Once the stalker has a largely untraceable email account on a free service like gmail, then they are free to use it to join all the free communication sites out there.  Coupled with a disposable cell phone purchased in another city, and you have full communication with someone who has just created an untraceable identity.

So what can be done about it?
For starters, stay clear of free dating sites. They  increase your exposure to danger to unacceptable levels.
The rest is just a lot of common sense:
1) Make sure that you talk online a long time before committing to meeting the person in real life. Keep all details about who you really are or where you live private until you know them better.
2) At some point use a disposable phone yourself, or else take advantage of an anonymous phone service, like MyPrivateLine.com, which offers a disposable number that lets you talk to strangers without revealing your phone number.
3) Before you commit your heart, make sure you are doing due diligence on this person. Be careful with what you say, and listen carefully to what is said. Consider recording the call so you can take notes after.  Look for irregularities in their stories. Ask for the same information a few different ways over the course of your initial acquaintance and make sure the answers are consistent. Be careful if the answers are not the same. He just might be stalking you. Stalkers will often mix up the stories that they tell different women, and that is one of your best weapons in finding if they are genuine or bullshit.
4) Get a recent picture of them, preferably at an event with signs in the background so you can verify the date. If nothing else, have them hold up a recent newspaper in the photo. If they are interested, they will put up with the apparent paranoia.
5) Be upfront and tell them that you are being careful. Genuine people will likely applaud your apparent paranoia. Be willing to reciprocate. If you are not willing to give up your home town, then use a public library and use a paper from another city in your photo.
6) Meet at a café rather than a bar, meet in the day time, and keep it short. For added security tell your friends where you are and make sure that your date knows this as soon as they arrive.
7) Use your camera phone and MMS it to a few friends. Then tell them what you have done that. If they do not like that, then to bad. But now get out right away!

To make a long story short, use your head before you let yourself lose your heart.

If you are still interested in paid online dating, check out the following link:

Online Dating Sites





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